Many grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren with extra care and attention, which may sometimes contradict the mother’s rules at home.
There is a saying: “More precious than a child is the child of the child.”
A mother raises her children at home according to a specific system — a system for eating, sleeping, allowance, going out, and so on.
But mothers often complain that as long as their child is at home, they listen and behave, but once they go to their grandfather’s house, everything changes, and the child misbehaves. The mother feels she can’t discipline the child at all. So, where is the problem?
When we look into it, we find that the grandfather misses his grandchild and starts spoiling him as soon as he sees him, because the grandchild only visits for a short time.
The mother tells her son, “Don’t misbehave.”
The grandfather says, “Let the boy enjoy himself.”
The mother says, “It’s bedtime, kids.”
The grandfather says, “Let the boy stay with me a little longer.”
Whether the grandfather is the mother’s father or the father’s father, what happens here is that the mother doesn’t want to upset the grandfather and respects his decisions.
Here, the child learns that while he is at the grandfather’s house, his mother’s opinion doesn’t count, and the grandfather’s word is final. So, he starts rejecting any decision from his mother.
The right approach is for the grandfather to spoil and play with his grandchild but not interfere with the parents’ decisions, so he doesn’t undermine their authority in front of the child.
Mom and Dad’s decisions should be the ones that are followed.
When the grandfather tells the mother, “Let him stay a little longer,” the mother can respond, “It’s okay, Grandpa, but we are used to a routine, and we don’t want to spoil him.”
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